IN-PERSON AND ONLINE THROUGHOUT MISSOURI
Therapy for Men
in St. Louis
You don't have to choose between bottling it up and blowing up.
You keep trying to fix what’s wrong, and can’t seem to get it right.
Your spouse, a coworker, or one of your kids comes to you with a problem. They’re upset and so, of course, you try to solve it.
You listen, you try to understand, you set your own feelings aside, and you offer advice and solutions…but it just makes them more upset.
It seems like the more you try to explain yourself, offer help, or give your perspective, the more the conversation goes off the rails and you don’t know why.
In the end, you blow, and now you seem like the bad guy when you were just trying to help.
The situation is out of your control—and you’re ashamed because you promised yourself you wouldn’t do this anymore. Even worse, you’re still confused about how things went so wrong.
YOU’RE TRYING SO HARD TO DO THE RIGHT THING, AND YET…
Something is holding you back in your career even though you know you have what it takes to climb the ladder. You’re starting to question if you’re man enough to provide for your family.
A low-level hum of melancholy is creeping in. You look around at the life you’ve built and feel bored and restless. But you can’t talk to your spouse about this because you’re supposed to protect her, not burden her.
You hear yourself yelling again whenever your kid melts down. You’re overwhelmed by the shame of it, because you swore you'd never be that kind of parent.
You hear yourself yelling again whenever your kid melts down. You’re overwhelmed by the shame of it, because you swore you'd never be that kind of parent.
You end up on the back deck after dark with a whiskey, staring into the yard, wondering: is this it? Even though by every measure that's supposed to count, you're doing fine.
Work stress follows you to the dinner table and affects the people you love most. You catch yourself fantasizing about quitting the whole thing to sell homemade hot sauce and relishes at the local farmers market.
You're not an angry man or falling apart. You're just someone with a lot going on.
We’ll figure out what to do about that.
MY APPROACH
What you’re experiencing has a name: The push-down/blow-up cycle.
The good news is, if it has a name, it likely has a solution. I’ve worked with so many people throughout my career who are good, upstanding men just trying to do their best at everything they do—and they all fall into this cycle.
These situations in your life keep playing out the same way for a reason.
Our work will be to figure out what those reasons are and where they come from. I won't hand you a feelings wheel or assign you journal prompts, because those will only scratch the surface. To actually make a dent, we need to go deeper.
We’ll work together to help you understand what's behind the sadness and the blowups and how to handle the emotions as they come.
I won’t promise it’ll always be comfortable, but that’s where change happens—and that’s the best part.
This work can help you:
Assert yourself calmly, knowing that expressing how you’re feeling and what you need isn’t tyrannical or soft—it’s healthy.
Set limits at home and at work without feeling like you're being the bad guy—and understand you don’t have to solve everyone else's problems.
Say what you feel in a way other people in your life can understand, instead of letting it build until you lose control.
Catch when your kid's behavior is reminding you of a painful experience or memory from the past—so you can pause and reflect instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.
Own what you're good at and gain clarity about what you truly want from your life—and start making meaningful decisions to move toward that.
Put your phone down at the end of the day so you can be present with the people you love and actually enjoy your life without work niggling at you from the back of your mind.
THERAPY FOR MEN IN ST. LOUIS
Life can be more than just holding it together. Let’s get to the bottom of this so you can move forward.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
-
You don't have to walk in the door fluent in feelings. Most of the men I work with aren't, at least at first. My job is to help you find words for what's going on underneath, in plain language, without turning it into something touchy-feely.
-
This is about you, what's behind your own patterns, and what you can do differently. A lot of men come to me after couples therapy didn’t work, because each partner discovered they had individual work to do before they could bring their best self to the relationship.
-
I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with advanced training in psychodynamic psychotherapy, trauma-informed therapy, and evidence-based approaches.
Many of the men I see appreciate a therapist who can be warm without being soft, honest without being harsh, and willing to use humor when the moment calls for it. Therapy with me is focused on understanding what is happening beneath the surface so you can respond with more awareness, honesty, and control.
-
That's one of the more common things I hear. A lot of people have had experiences with therapy that felt more like venting or doing homework than actually getting somewhere. Psychodynamic therapy is more active than that. I'm listening closely for what's running underneath what you're saying, and willing to push back when something seems worth looking at more carefully. Whether it's a better fit than what you've tried before depends on what you need. If you want to talk through it, we can do that in a consultation.
-
Self-work can be useful, and many of the men I work with have already read the books, listened to the podcasts, improved their routines, and tried to be more present. Therapy is different because we look at what happens when those good intentions break down in real time: when you feel criticized, shut down, get defensive, pull away, or end up in the same argument again. The goal is not more information. It is understanding the pattern well enough that you can actually do something different.
-
You do not have to be fully convinced therapy is necessary for it to be useful. A lot of men start because their partner is unhappy, the same arguments keep happening, or they have been told they are distant, defensive, angry, or hard to talk to. Therapy is not about proving anyone right or making you the villain. It is about slowing things down enough to understand your part of the pattern, what gets stirred up in you, and whether you want to keep doing things the same way.
-
No. It means something is not working the way you want it to, and you are willing to look at it honestly. Most people come to therapy because the usual strategies are no longer doing the job. They’re tired of repeating the same argument, shutting down, overreacting, feeling anxious, choosing the wrong people, or resenting everyone while insisting they are “fine.”
Therapy is not about proving you are broken. It is about understanding the patterns that keep taking over so you can have more choice in how you respond.
No. It means something is not working the way you want it to, and you are willing to look at it honestly. Most people come to therapy because the usual strategies are no longer doing the job. They’re tired of repeating the same argument, shutting down, overreacting, feeling anxious, choosing the wrong people, or resenting everyone while insisting they are “fine.”
Therapy is not about proving you are broken. It is about understanding the patterns that keep taking over so you can have more choice in how you respond